You’re not seeing things…we at Truly, MD, are turning our pens and paper towards the guys. While everything up to this point has been girl (or what you need to know about your plus one if he’s a guy)-related, we are breaking the mold and making this piece about men. Specifically, what happens when you have double the sperm and no eggs (a.k.a. same-sex male couples). And while the options may seem limited or even impossible without two key baby-making ingredients (eggs and uterus), there are ways to work around this.
Where do you find an egg(s)?
Close your eyes, and take a trip back to your childhood—specifically an Easter egg hunt. And while it may be a bit hazy at first, you can probably remember searching and collecting dozens and dozens of eggs. And although your brother, sister, or BFF may have come in at a slightly higher egg count at the end of the day, everyone made out pretty well (and consumed lots of chocolate). Finding an egg donor that is healthy and fertile while also possessing the characteristics (e.g., ethnicity, race) and traits (e.g., artistic, athletic) that you and your partner desire in a donor is just the opposite.
The screening process is intense—physical exam, personal and family history, blood testing, ultrasound, and genetics. Bottom line, there are many hurdles that must be cleared before an egg donor is cleared to give her eggs. Egg donors can be anonymous or directed (a.k.a. known). While most couples opt to go the anonymous route, whom you select is up to you and your partner. However, whomever you pick will need to go through IVF to extract her eggs.
Where do you find a uterus?
Finding a uterus (that is, a gestational carrier or a surrogate) can be laborious (no pun intended)! It is a big decision for any woman to make, and therefore, finding a woman who is willing and able can take a lot of time and a lot of resources. Just as there are for egg donors, there are agencies and attorneys who focus on identifying gestational carriers. Getting hooked up with one shortly after you get hooked up with your plus one is a good way to start the process.
Where do you find sperm?
While this question might seem somewhat misplaced (are they kidding me?), deciding whose sperm to use and when can be a bit complicated. If both partners want to provide a sperm, then you must decide whose embryo(s) will be transferred and when….
Today, parenthood is possible no matter who your partner is and what you are “lacking.” And although you may be missing one or two of the core “necessities” (eggs, uterus, or sperm), you already have the most important core necessity for parenthood—a major desire to be a parent. So don’t worry about the rest. That, we can help take care of!