Five Ways You Know You Have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome)

  1. You get your period as often as the White Sox win the World Series (meaning about once a century).
    Irregular menstrual cycles (medically termed oligo-menorrhea) are a hallmark of PCOS. In fact, they are usually the main reason women with PCOS come to visit their GYN in the first place. Why, you may ask, are the cycles so off? The reason is, simply, wiring…in women with PCOS, the signals being sent from the brain to the ovaries are off. Without clear instructions from their boss, the ovaries are sort of lost. They don’t know how or when to produce an egg, and they certainly can’t figure out how or when to release one. Irregular or complete lack of ovulation (medically termed oligo– or anovulation) leads to wacky and infrequent menstrual cycles.
  2. You see your waxing lady more than your best friend.
    Elevated androgen levels (think male hormones) are very common in women with PCOS. Elevated androgens = elevated hair content (and not on top of your head!). More hair in not the most fun of places (lip, chin, sideburns, chest, and stomach, to name a few) means more visits to either the threading, waxing, or laser place. Unfortunately, most of these treatments are temporary, and unless you can lower the androgen levels in the blood, you will find yourself lying on that table forever.
  3. You have sampled every over-the-counter and prescription skin care product out there, and you still find yourself lathering cover-up on pimples.
    Fun fact: androgens not only cause abnormal hair growth, but they also cause acne. Oh, what a joy! The same culprit that caused you to fight facial hair is also public enemy no. 1 when it comes to pimples.
  4. You look at a sugary snack and gain five pounds.
    PCOS not only involves crossed signals from the brain to the ovary but also with insulin resistance and glucose metabolism. With insulin resistance comes high glucose and straight-up sugar intolerance. Problems with glucose metabolism leads to diabetes and obesity—not a sweet situation!
  5. You have taken so many ovulation prediction kits without ever once seeing a positive that you should own stock in the company.
    If you have PCOS, ovulation predictions kits are not your friend. They are pretty poor in interpreting the message your ovaries are sending out and will likely do nothing more than drive you crazy—and into poverty. They simply don’t work. And why they don’t is not because the tests don’t work but because the ovaries are not working and not ovulating. So do yourself a favor, and don’t waste your hard-earned cash on these kits!