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Ten Tips for First-Time Moms: What to Do in That Last Month!

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Take everything we say in this post with a grain of salt. Most of it has minimal medical basis and maximal learn on the job-type tips. Pregnancy can be amazing and awful all at the same time—yes, we just said awful and pregnancy out loud together!

When you head into the home stretch, the physical pain usually gets worse, as does the anticipation and anxiety, especially if it’s your first time at the rodeo. First, all the emotions you are feeling are totally NORMAL. We totally give it up to Brooke Shields, who broke barriers by sharing her postpartum experiences. It’s important to know that joy is not the only emotion you’ll be feeling at the end of pregnancy and the beginning of mommyhood…

Here are our top 10 pre-delivery tips.

  1. Get groomed.
    While we are not telling you to run from the nail place to the waxing place and back to the hair salon, we are telling you to treat yourself! Make time for you before the baby arrives. A spa visit and some good R&R is the best way to do it. Besides, who doesn’t like to be pampered?
  2. Make a delivery playlist.
    Labor is not called labor because it comes and goes in the blink of an eye! Much to the chagrin of the family members camped out in the waiting room, it can be a LONG process—especially for your first! We recommend bringing along some good music, downloading some good movies, and maybe even packing a good book. Nothing takes your mind off things like laughter and light tunes.
  3. Plan a dress rehearsal.
    It’s never a bad idea to map out the best route to the hospital. Know where you are going and how to get to the labor and delivery floor. While it may seem silly to make a dry run, it will likely ease anxiety when game time comes. On that note, it’s also not a bad idea to have your “costume” (a.k.a. overnight bag) ready to go. The last thing you need when those contractions start is to be searching for your favorite sweatpants!
  4. Breast milk vs. formula.
    We are NOT here to pass judgment or tell you which is better for you or the baby. In our opinion, what works best for you will work best for your baby. But if you do think that you want to give this breastfeeding thing a whirl, make friends with a good breast pump, and a find a good lactation consultant (or someone in the know). This will help you prepare for what’s to come and increase your chances of getting the milk flowing.
  5. Bag the birth plan?
    We get it…you know exactly what music you want to be playing, exactly where you want your partner to be sitting, and where the baby should be placed right after delivery. And while having a birth plan is important, be FLEXIBLE with your bullet points. For sure know if you want an epidural, if you want a doula, and if you want a vaginal delivery or a C-Section—but unfortunately, labor and delivery don’t follow a plan. Be prepared for things to deviate from the script…the show will still go on!
  6. Know who you want to be there at the final push!
    Who you want to hold your legs and wipe your forehead is a very personal decision. Don’t be bullied by parents, your in-laws, or your friends—only people you want in the room should be there. It’s okay to want privacy during your special moment.
  7. Eat your heart out!
    While we want you to be careful about how many pounds you add during your pregnancy the night before you go into the hospital (if being induced, having a C-Section or as labor is starting), we recommend going all out in the food department. Treat yourself to a decadent dinner with your significant other. You will not only need the energy to push, but you will also want to enjoy the last moments of being kid free.
  8. Be mindful of unsolicited advice.
    Everyone is an expert when it comes to all things pregnant, and they are not afraid to share it. While most mean well, the advice can become moderately annoying. Listen to what you want to, and shut out what you don’t want to hear. Your doctor and medical team have probably done this several hundred times; they have got you covered and know what’s best.
  9. Accept the unacceptable.
    So many times, we hear women saying through tears and sobs, “This is not how I planned it. I feel like such a failure.” Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try to control what happens on D-day, you can’t. Nature doesn’t care if you dreamed of delivering in a bathtub in the dark with classical music in the background—if your baby’s heart rate drops, you’re having an emergency C-Section under the bright lights, no questions asked. The number-one priority is your and your baby’s safety; trust us, when you hold that baby in your arms, the plan will be nothing more than a moment in the past.
  10. It’s ok to want to quit—at least several times a day.
    Motherhood is the only job you don’t get to call in sick to, you don’t get to resign from, and you don’t get fired from. You can’t clock out, and you don’t get a paycheck. But even with all the exhaustion, the frustration, and the anxiety, it is the most amazing experience you will ever have. Labor is TIRING. Pushing is HARD. But quitting is not an option—you are stronger than you know.

Doing It at Home: Labor and Delivery in Your Bedroom

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When most of us think about the birth of our baby, we ask questions like Who do I want in the room? Which doctor/midwife do I want at the delivery? and Will I have a bowel movement while pushing (don’t stress if you do; it’s super common)? Until recently, very rarely did the question At home or in the hospital? cross our minds. However, over the past few years, home birth has gained some serious followers.

More and more women are opting to deliver their baby in their bedroom rather than in birth centers or hospitals. In fact, rates of home birth were up from .79% in 2004 to 1.3% in 2012. Fear of C-Sections and the medicalization of birth (monitors, medications, and modest autonomy) have collectively driven women out of hospitals and into their homes. While there are certainly benefits to home births (minus the cleanup factor—labor can be quite messy), there are some major downsides as well. Here’s what to consider if you are considering a home birth.

First, deciding to deliver at home is a BIG, BIG, BIG decision that should not be made alone. While we get that women have been delivering babies for centuries, things can still go wrong, very wrong and very fast. That’s why it’s super important that you speak with a medical practitioner (OB/GYN or midwife) to make sure that you are a good candidate for an at-home delivery. According to the ACOG, the following women are on the no-fly list when it comes to at-home births: a previous C-Section, babies who are not head down (medical term: fetal malpresentation), and multiple gestations (more than one baby in their uterus at one time). It is just way too risky.

Second, if you are good to go for it at home, make sure you are not alone. Seek out a midwife who is licensed and experienced in doing home births. You want to make sure that this is not their first rodeo. Knowing when to throw the towel in and trek over to the nearest hospital is essential.

Third, have a good idea of your surroundings. And while we aren’t referring to the nearest grocery store, we are referring to your local hospital. Being close to a medical facility can be the difference between a horrible and heroic outcome.

Why do we care so much? Well, we care about you and your baby’s safety—big time. And although most home births go off without a hitch, when compared to hospital deliveries, home births carry a significantly higher risk of bad outcomes. A large study that was recently published in the JAMA (the Bible of all good medical research) showed that death, neonatal seizures, and neurological impairment were nearly 2.5 times more likely to occur when babies were delivered at home as opposed to in the hospital. Additionally, mothers who delivered at home were more likely to need a blood transfusion. But to be fair, the data wasn’t all down on home births. Women who delivered in a hospital were way more likely to have their labor augmented (a.k.a. enhanced with drugs like Pitocin) and have a C-Section.

As doctors, we have opinions…lots of them. Most of these are rooted in research, data, and years of medical education and training. But despite our degrees, we are not dictators. We are, in many ways, nothing more than trusted advisors. Therefore, while we can give our advice and render an opinion, we can’t tell you what to do. That’s up to you. You take the information we give you and with it make an educated and informed decision.

But we’re not going to lie; on this issue, we side with the ACOG and truly believe that the safest place to deliver a baby is in the hospital or in an accredited birth center. In our opinion, the potential downsides of the at-home birth far outweigh the potential downsides of the hospital birth. And while bad things can happen anywhere, we would rather you go where they happen less.

We also get that the labor and delivery of a child is one of the most intimate experiences in one’s life. You want what you want. We know; we were patients, too. Our advice is to find a practitioner (OB or midwife) whose vision for labor and delivery is close to yours. While on D-Day what you expected while expecting and what happened may be very different, at least you are staring from a place of togetherness.

Labor is as unpredictable as the weather in the tropics. Things can change faster than you can imagine. Get ready to roll with whatever rolls in…it will allow you to weather the storm safely. Make sure you have a life jacket and safety net (a.k.a. good medical practitioner on your side) should the seas get rough.