While most of you, particularly those above the age of 35, are now picturing a couple of bar stools, Sam, Cliff, Norm, Woody, and Frasier, our minds are far from a local bar in Boston. Our minds are on the waiting room of your local fertility clinic. The place where “everybody should know your name” (but should not scream it loudly for everyone else there to hear!) but never does. The place we are referring to is the waiting room of your fertility clinic.

Contrary to popular belief, the waiting room should not resemble the subway platform during rush hour! Patients are not cattle, and your lady parts are not pieces on a factory assembly line. And while we, too, are fans of a morning sweat session, it should not be achieved by racing your fellow patients to the front of the ultrasound line.  It adds anxiety to an already stressful process. Fertility treatment is not easy. The process of getting there, getting in, and getting out should not make this process even harder. Simply said, if your blood pressure rises several degrees when you walk through the door, it might be time to walk out.

The desire to have a child can be overwhelming. It can drive even the sanest of us to do crazy things. And although we can’t promise that pineapple core, vitamin supplements, and a gluten-free diet will do the trick, we can promise you that they won’t hurt you. However, allowing yourself to be treated as a number and not as a person can be hurtful. In fact, it can compromise the quality of your care and your chances of conceiving; if nobody really “knows your name,” how can they appropriately treat your infertility?

Let’s face it. You don’t need everyone in the fertility office to be your best friend, but the individual doing your ultrasound should know your name, know why you are there, and know what you might be doing next (and should give you more than 30 seconds of their time!). If you are getting the boot out of the door the moment your bottom hits the exam table, it’s probably about time to find yourself another fertility clinic.

Fertility treatment is often a journey. For some, it can take years. The relationship you form with your doctor and your doctor’s office staff should be a good one. And while you may never find yourself in a bar in Boston talking about baseball, it is important that you feel comfortable with those sitting on the stool in front of you. The fertility clinic should be a place “where everybody knows your name.” You owe it to yourself. Cheers!